About couples, friendship and outings with the girls
Generally, when two people meet and begin life as a couple, friends and girlfriends are often relatively bent on the sidelines (especially girlfriends more often, because boys maintain their outings to a certain extent). Women, however, once they stumble upon a potential Prince Charming, do not hesitate to project themselves very quickly into the future, to imagine the wedding, their home and children, gradually forgetting about those friends who had been close until then, and who took them out on the bad days and encouraged them when they most needed it. Women let themselves carried away very quickly. I say this not as a harsh criticism, don’t get the wrong interpretation, please. It’s a simple fact. After the first 2-3 meetings with Prince Charming, after all details have been discussed with friends and the boy / man has been approved by the group, well, women often blindly launch themselves on an adventure, forgetting about the world around them. Not only women forget about themselves, their own identity and “I” becomes “we” always in any discussion, but to a question like “What are you doing during the weekend?”, the answer is “Well, the weekend, we’re going to … we thought it would be nice to …”, all being said in the plural. It appears that this “we” – which romantics would say it includes nicely the “I”, but that sometimes absorbs it like in a black hole – makes women forget about themselves, their personal pleasures and needs, putting above themselves the recently met man’s desire. I’m not saying women should not enjoy the strengthening of “we” because they dreamed about it for a long time, but “we” can live separately from the “I” without harming anyone.
When a friend who knows you for years asks you how you are, she would like to know how you feel, how you are with yourself, how you see the relationship. It interests her to know how you evolved, what you’ve become, how the person you met transformed you and helped you grow and, especially, she would like to continue to have a real relationship with you, not just remotely via SMS or email. People say that friends are the family you choose. It’s not a blood relation but a soul connection that needs to be treasured. Especially because in the difficult moments of the couple (and not only then) when often women suddenly find themselves alone, they will not call their moms nor the men who made them suffer, but the friend they’ve forgotten about for months.
In a love relationship, it’s good for the two partners not to suffocate each other, but to leave some space (but not too much) for friends as well, and for individual outings. The passion is strong at the beginning, love is great, but the encounter between two people should increase their circle of friends, not restrict it.
So, girls, do not forget about yourselves and about your own identity and pleasures and needs, your hobbies and, occasionally, organise some outings with your friends, go to the gym together, to the seaside for a weekend, go out for a drink, a play, a movie and so on, but spend time with each other because those friendly relations must be kept, too.